(inbox) probably too busy eating to pick up the phone

[bulletfool]

This is Kohei Izumi.
I'm not available right now, so please leave your name and message.

Comments

action;

[discard]

[Leon's really really stressed out.

Babysitting isn't something that comes naturally to him, so naturally...he's having a hard time. He stalks forward, grimly and certainly and doesn't quite realize that there's someone in the way until he turns the corner and

slams right into him

Naturally Leon's the one hitting the ground because Leon is the pint-sized one, farewell cruel world, farewell his dignity.]

[bulletfool]

[Izumi is 5'9" and already bending over to offer a hand, this poor kid. But for someone so small, that slam sure was hard.]

Ah, sorry! I didn't see you there. Are you okay?

[discard]

[Immediately, Leon is batting his hand away, naturally.]

Don't touch me.

[Ah yes, Leon's gonna Leon.]

I'm fine. [He shoves himself to his feet, dusting himself off prissily and scowling.]

Next time, watch where you are going.

[bulletfool]

[Whoa, son, no need to be so prickly.]

Ah – it's the same . . .

[The spitting sound of Kazama. Cerealia really has all types.]

We collided at this bend here, didn't we? It was an honest mistake, and nobody got hurt.

[discard]

...What are you talking about?

[??? Stop being so cryptic!!

Though he huffs a moment later.]

Do not be ridiculous. This entire situation could have been avoided if you had simply watched where you were going!

[bulletfool]

[You sound just like another 5'2" swordsman he knows.]

I guess that's true. But doesn't that mean you weren't watching, either?

[Izumi admits he was looking the other way.]

[discard]

Absolutely not. I was watching where I was going, you were simply too much in the way.

[That doesn't even make sense but that's his story and he's sticking to it.]

[bulletfool]

[Uh.]

Are you listening to yourself? That doesn't make any sense.

[discard]

Shut up.

[Nobody asked you!!]

Now get out of my way so I can continue--I was doing something important before you interrupted me.

[bulletfool]

Are you always this upset?

[It's said in a casual tone, but knowing this guy so far, maybe he'll take offense. Hindsight is pretty bad. Izumi does, however, step aside.]

It doesn't hurt to lighten up, you know. You could have walked around, but here.

[discard]

I don't recall asking for your opinion.

Are you always this needlessly nosy and preachy?

[Just saying!!!]

[bulletfool]

No, it must have been something you said.

[If nothing else, Izumi is honest.]

I'm just saying – you look tense. In times like that, isn't it better to slow down?

[discard]

For what purpose, exactly?

[Leon quirks an eyebrow at that, huffing shortly.]

At a time like this, there is no time to waste lallygagging around uselessly.

[bulletfool]

[The corners of Izumi's lips quirk down in thought.]

Why, what are you doing right now?

[discard]

[And, immediately:]

That is none of your concern.

[Oh.]

[bulletfool]

That's true.

[Okay, dude.]

Well, whatever it is, work hard!

[discard]

Hmph. I do not need to hear that from someone like you.

[But he is moving to leave, with a flick of his hair from his eyes.]

[bulletfool]

See you around.

[Because in a place like this, he expects they might run into each other again. With a quiet sigh, Izumi shrugs as he watches Leon go.]

Talk about eerie! It was exactly the same . . .

[forceofnature]

[Viridi barely waits for the beep.]

Hiiiii, it's me! Your favorite goddess. Probably the only goddess you know. ...Which still lands me squarely as the favorite. But I digress. I don't really know if this is the right person, but I left the same message on everyone else's machines just in case. Oh - and I told them to go ahead and forward it to you, so you might get a few repeats.

Anyway!

So we were talking about the salinization of the Fertile Crescent, which originally received its name due to the particularly nutrient-rich soil in the area. Your people arose from that region and with due time, spread throughout the rest of the earth, but not before they ruined their homeland forever, of course just like they ruined everything else.

Let's begin in the year 9000BCE, when the first farming settlements emerged out of the mud-slinging grunting ape people you all used to be back in the day. It sounds weird but I thi.k..ou.er.al...t..uter......en..........

..........5000 when irrigation was first dev..............

..........otamian Empire invaded the surround............

..........[10 minutes slowly pass]........

..........diot Alexander started this whole thing and.........

.........[how much time can this answering machine hold?]........

.........[maybe she'll need to use the bathroom...]..........

.........[wait here we go... it sounds like she's].........

And that's why the world is facing an unprecedented crisis in the deleterious effects of human-induced agricultural mishandling in regards to sustainable crop growth!

And another reason you suck.

OK!

I'll know if you don't listen to the very end of this, so don't you dare slack off! The next time we meet, you have to whisper the secret code word that shows you heard it all. It's, um. Ummm... 'Potato.' Yeah. That's good.

OK! Seeya! No need for thanks; this is a public service.

[bulletfool]

[Izumi wonders what possessed him to listen to this whole spiel. At the end of the message, he doesn't know if it was worth all the time it took for him to hear it out, but one thing's for sure – ]

. . . Potato?

[This is not public service. It's harassment!! There's no way he's calling back!]

voicemail

[onethousen]

Izumi-san? It's Chihiro. I was wondering, can you do that exploding thing in a specific area? Wait. Have you had any of the plants or the tree roots attack you recently?

[ these things have been hurting her friends and it's not like they listen. maybe explosions will help stem the tide. or drive off the fog. who knows!

then again she's calling a guy who manages some impressive explosions hoping maybe he'll have some insight into a way of handling the current chaos. ]

[bulletfool]

[ Izumi sounds entirely out of breath when he picks up the CereVice and calls Chihiro back. ]

Chihiro-chan, I got your message. [ He pauses here to suck in a deep breath. Laughing too much hurt his side. ] Did the plants get you?

[onethousen]

One tried to bite my face off and choke us to sleep and Nagasone-san cut it down and I had to run with his vessel because he asked. It was scary.

[ She probably didn't get around to telling him that tsukumogami "vessels" are their true bodies and that Nagasone is a tsukumogami and thus she was asked to run with someone's life in her hands that also happened to be a very sharp life and it was distressing??? ]

The roots have been easier to dodge in the fog. You can listen for them. All those flowers and the biting plants are sneakier. How about you? Are you okay?

[ his sucking in air finally registers as Important once her initial burst of "this HAPPENED" is over. ]

[bulletfool]

Whoa . . . That is scary.

[ Suddenly this doesn't seem as funny as it was earlier. Faceless Chihiro would be bad with a capital B – not to mention nightmare fuel for which nobody asked. ]

I'm fine. I just had a little laugh, thanks to the plants. But it's gotten really foggy, so I've been holing myself up indoors.

[ The building doesn't matter, as long as he has shelter. Running through the fog to go back to the flooded apartment unit seems like a stupid plan even by his standard. He saw the roots once, never again. ]

Where are you now? And what about the person who was with you?

[onethousen]

[ Now that his questions can actually be answered... ]

He's okay now. He came back to a body okay.

[ It was really gratifying and odd to see that flash of light and find Nagasone there again, in a different outlet, and not simply dying back in the plant-hill of doom. She shivers again, reacting to the memory.

That hill... ]

I'm between the apartment complexes and the school. I've been trying to avoid the bubbles.